Election Season

 

I will miss election season when it is over. It has been exciting to receive the daily barrage of email and text messages, especially the ones from some of my favorite celebrities. Every day I can count on messages from Martin Sheen, Barbra Streisand, and Jon Stewart. I feel like we are on a first-name basis. I’ve started to send replies but so far have received very terse responses, which I could sum up as, Do NOT reply to this message. Hit the DONATE button, dumbass!

 I’m sure those responses are AI-generated and not written by Marty, Babs, and Jon-boy. I’m sure because I continue to receive warm and friendly messages from the three of them, though it is surprising they never thank me for my contributions.

 We don’t always get the presidential candidates that we’d prefer. I’m sure you agree. If I had my choice, it would be Jonathon Lawson, the guy from Colonial Penn Insurance. Jonathon Lawson strikes me as the nicest guy in the world. I think he would be a great president. He could charm the sox off all the world leaders, including the nasty ones. I can picture his campaign theme. It would go like this:

 

Lawson: In choosing a president, just remember the Three P’s.

Gray-haired lady: What are the Three P’s?

Lawson: A President you can afford. A President that will not change. And a President that fits your budget.

Gray-haired lady: I just turned 80. What can I afford?

Lawson: Just send $9.95.

Gray-haired gentleman: I’m 65 and take medication. How about me?

Lawson: $9.95 for you too.

 

If this were a town hall, I’d ask Jonathon what’s the difference between a president we can afford and one that fits our budget. I’m sure he’d have a good answer. It’s too late for Jonathon Lawson to jump into the 2024 race, but how about 2028? I’m keeping my fingers crossed and I have my check for $9.95 ready.

 Oh wait, I have to run. I just received a text from Streisand. Gotta reply…

 Babs! Hi, girlfriend! Whaazzuup?

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