Drawing to a Flush
by Waymon DeStrange
It turns out President Trump is very concerned about water usage in the bathrooms of America. Who knew? He offered his thoughts on the subject while meeting with a group of small business owners with the cameras rolling. Water policy is vital, especially in California, so I rewound my DVR several times to make sure I captured the president word-for-word:
We have a situation where we’re looking very strongly at sinks and showers and other elements of bathrooms…where you turn the faucets on, in areas where there’s tremendous amounts of water where the water rushes out to sea because you can never handle it…and you turn on the faucet and you don’t get any water…they take showers and the water comes dripping out…very quietly dripping out…people are flushing toilets ten times, fifteen times, as opposed to once…they end up using more water…so EPA is looking at that very strongly, at my direction….
The president continued his remarks, but I was stopped cold by his comment about the number of flushes. It seems he advocates a single flush. One and done. I guess he doesn’t subscribe to the concept of the “mercy flush.” Hopefully, for the first lady’s sake, they have separate bathrooms in the White House.
Let’s be clear: I’m totally against ten or fifteen flushes, except in the most extreme situations. But I think there is room for compromise here. How about two flushes as a standard? We could even promote the idea with baseball caps bearing the legend LAFT (Let America Flush Twice). The president could toss out the caps at his rallies.
The president mentioned the EPA and it's good to know it still exists. I thought the agency closed shop for good during the last government shutdown. I welcome EPA's strong attention to water usage in the bathroom. Let's persuade them to LAFT!